Happy Birthday Matt!

It has been 27 years since my little brother died, yet it feels like it was yesterday. Matt was 12 ½ when he died - too young. He was a great kid, a sweet and loving soul, my airplane seat partner, sleeping buddy on stormy nights and cuddle bunny with a bowl of popcorn in front of the TV. It was a devastating loss to me and my family. I have the upmost respect for my parents - They carried on. They called on their faith to get them through and they continued to be parents to their three remaining children. Having a 13 year old myself, I just don’t know how they coped! Even after 27 years, my brothers and I still upon occasion have a hard time dealing with the loss. But, it is just the nature of grieving and loss. We recognize special days with calls to one another – the day Matt died, the day of his birth, the day Matt punctured my brothers waterbed with needle nose pliers (sorry Tim, I just couldn't let go of that one). We don’t ignore his memory and we heal through sharing.

Today is Matt’s 40th Birthday! As my oldest brother says “He will be forever young in our minds!” Well he might be forever young to us, but sorry Matt, you still would have been 40 today – so, we decided to celebrate! I baked a cake, we lit the candles and together, Rick, Tim and I, with our families, wished Matt a Happy Birthday and blew out the candles! Mom and Dad, sorry you were not here to celebrate with us. We love you and were thinking about you. Moral of the story: Don’t forget to tell the ones you love, you love them and celebrate everything!

Reflection on Mother's Day

A belated Happy Mother’s Day to all you! I hope you had a great day. As I am typing this, I look up above my desk and see a picture of my mom and me. So many years have passed since this picture was taken; I was young and carefree. I thought my mom was old at the time, but looking at her now, she was young! I think back, did I tell her I loved her? Did I spend the day with her as she wanted or was it as I wanted? I could write a hundred more "Did I" questions. But the most pressing question on my mind is - how did she cope when there were no more kids at home, waiting by the phone for a Happy Mother’s Day call? Change – it is all about change. Change in tradition, change in family, change in expectations. My Mother’s Day this year? Well, it was a change. No breakfast in bed. No kids bursting through the door screaming Happy Mother’s Day. No kids jumping on the bed spilling my breakfast. Yes, it was a change, but the nice conversation over a delicious brunch and going to see the Broadway show, Wicked, proved to be a great day. I even received what I asked for – pastry brushes! I look at my daughters and see how fast they are growing and how quickly I will be the one waiting by the phone for that Mother’s Day call. Like my mother, grandmother and great-grandmother before, I will cope with the change. So for now, I keep taking pictures – just a snapshot in time to remember special times I have with my girls.

Keep a close watch on A Woman On The Move - I am on the move again. I will be heading to England with Daughter 1. I hope to post updates daily.